plagerize this

First read this review from the LA Record from last May.

Then, read this review of the same band from the UK Guardian in September.

Then read my angry letter to Paul Lester, probable child molester:

Dear Paul,
As a music writer myself, I know how annoying it can be to make an effort. Our job is easy—we listen to music and write about it. And aside from deciding which band names to drop in our witty comparisons, the hardest part of what we do is to somehow motivate ourselves to leave the house or get off our computers and obtain legitimate information to back up our obviously-correct, but basically-useless opinions.

But plagerism?

I can understand that being across the pond from the few examples of decent American music is a little isolating—and maybe I have an advantage because my cousin is the drummer—but in September 22nd’s “New Band of the Day” featuring Portland, Oregon’s Hockey, you not only admitted to getting information from their Myspace, but also used that Myspace to read reviews written by other people, which you then stole descriptions and exact adjectival phrases from and passed them off as your own.

I should know: my words are in your subdeck.

Sure, maybe you could tell from the photos that the Hockey guys are scruffy motherfuckers, but I find it hard to believe—given their personal privacy with details and the fact that I only found out my cousin had given up on eggs and cheese last Thanksgiving—that without making contact with them whatsoever, you deduced that they are “bike-riding vegans.” Or is it just coincidence that I refer to them as such in the first sentence of a show review I wrote earlier this year?

Don’t get me wrong, Paul, I think you’re a master wordsmith. “Hi-hat harangues”? “Funky verbosity”? That shit is gold! But if you find information that you obviously did not obtain yourself, it’s best to edit it out before proud parents mass email your article to a bunch of family members and it ends up staring back at the original writer with its little beady, emotionless word-eyes.

I have attached a copy of both articles for your reference and records. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Sarah Bennett
Managing Editor | L.A. Record

There, that feels a lot better.