sunday times lolz

July 26, 2010

Today’s A section was full of depressing stories from the deaths of attendees of a German love rave to another mass grave found in a Texas border town. But P.J. Huffstutter, the man with the fakest-sounding name in the entire L.A. Times newsroom, brought some laughter to the front page this morning, having way too much fun with his article about a recent raid that left a Venice food co-op devoid of raw dairy products and giving the editors some good material to work with, too.

The opening sentence of the story is as follows:

With no warning one weekday morning, investigators entered an organic grocery with a search warrant and ordered the hemp-clad workers to put down their buckets of mashed coconut cream and to step away from the nuts.

But Huffstutter’s (if that is his name) numerous hippie-food references and dramatic retelling of the attack on food freedom (“skirting past the arugula and peering under crates of zucchini, they found the raid’s target…”) was no match for a bummed-out volunteer who uttered the quote that would become the best jumphead ever:

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