midwest overload

February 2, 2009

I’m not quite sure what the fuck this is, but it better be a Saturday Night Live skit soon. Meet John & Vicky Schroeder with RE/MAX Preferred in Waunakee, WI. They have a website that details the secret to their unprecedented representation technique as outlined in their “cutting edge” Marketing Plan for Selling Homes in Madison, Wisconsin. By utilizing the internet to the fullest extent, the Schroeders can offer you real-time viewer-traffic updates and an internet virtual tour–all on your home’s very own website (and postings on the biggest real estate blog in South Eastern Wisconsin)!!!!!! HOLY SHIT. If you want to pamper the fuck out of your house before you scalp it off to a nice African-American family, then let John, Vicky and their psychic dog Schroe-Yo have their way with it. You’re potential buyers will be whisked away to a virtual land built by a man with a creepy moustache who thinks because he graduated high school he can write marketing plans to sell your home. Everyone is scrambling to get to the full-motion-video-walkthrough capital of the midwest–WAUNAKEE!!!!–so don’t miss out on this opportunity to give this couple a chance at moving out of their trailer and finally not relying on Vicky’s night job. They might even upgrade to the “Cobalt Professional Deluxe” template and maybe someone will tell them that a website is not a blog just because you can update it!!!

I hate that these people have my parent’s names.

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