top 5 things that will probably happen during tonight’s debate

October 2, 2008

I feel bad for Sarah Palin. Really. She has been thrown into this vortex of public scrutiny and is clearly not qualified or capable of being the vice president. That point has come to light during the three pitiful interviews she’s given since the McCain camp picked the first-term governor and first-year passport-owner as their vice presidential nod. Obviously, her flash cards aren’t working. And the only reason I feel bad for Sarah Palin is because tonight she isn’t talking to Katie Couric, she is going head to head with Joe Biden, a man who has actually engaged in a televised debate, and I am preparing myself for the worst. I have a feeling that I’m going to be embarrassed for her. I have had dreams of her bombing terribly, mispronouncing the name of some foreign leader and having me tear up like I always do when I’m watching kissing scenes involving kids too young to be kissing. It gets awkward and I just get uncomfortable.

And since I have to work tonight and can’t watch the debate live, I’ve made a few predictions about what will happen while I’m serving omelettes (most of them are directly taken from my nightmares).

5. While her state’s geographic location might make her well-versed in Russian or Canadian politics, Palin breaks down and admits that Alaska’s distance from Washington D.C.
is “just too far” for her to know what’s going on.

4. Palin’s solution the economic crisis is “nothing a calculator and my down syndrome baby can’t fix.”

3. More differences between pigs and hockey moms are drawn up. Namely, their species.

2. The entire time, Biden tries really hard to not point and laugh.

1. Tina Fey tag teams in halfway through the debate and makes more valid points by playing a B.C. Rich Warlock behind the podium than Palin could hope to make in her life. After a riot (and leftist mosh pit), Palin is ousted as the vice presidential candidate and McCain wonders what the hell he was thinking trying to get to the White House on a marketing ploy. McCain/Fey ’08.

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2 Responses to “top 5 things that will probably happen during tonight’s debate”

  1. yourdailysnitch said

    I’ll take McCain/Fey or McCain/Palin any day!!! Can we just replace her now???

  2. yourdailysnitch said

    *over

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