national stay at home week?

September 26, 2008

I understand it’s just a marketing campaign, “American” Broadcasting Company, but did you ever think that now might be a bad time to launch your “National Stay at Home Week” advertisements at the Emmy’s on Sunday? “Save energy”? “Conserve gas”? Please! Try turning off a light when you leave the room or riding a fucking bus. Like this country needs any more reasons to not do anything and sit in front of the idiot box instead. The TV is on, in an average American home, for 7 hours a day. Our children don’t know where the constitution was signed but can tell you where 90210 is. We watch the television so much that we’re going illiterate. And you want me to stay at home and watch braceface America Ferrera and a half-naked Katherine Heigl? No thanks!

The media is the last hope for this damn country–because it’s all that anyone will pay attention to–and they’re wasting that power on a plug for season-kickoff that includes telling Americans to lock up and stay inside for a week while the economical apocalypse rains down around you. I think in this tumultous time, Americans that still have jobs should probably try to pick up some extra shifts this week (not skipping school and forgetting to call out sick–unless, of course ABC is also giving out doctor’s notes). Besides the fact that we are the fattest country in the world and probably shouldn’t be sitting down ever again, I can think of a million things I would do if I had a stay at home week and none of them include turning on the TV. Man, if I even had a full nights sleep I would be stoked. I might knit a sweater or type stuff on my typewriter or read all those books I bought but never have time to read. I would ride my moped and take baths. And if for some reason I did turn on the TV, it would only be to watch a vhs of some mid 90s children’s flick and definitely not wishing I watched the premiere of Brothers and Sisters.

For shame, ABC. For Shame.

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