sincerely, barack obama

This is the letter from the president that our office received on behalf of the school. It came in a self-adhesive script envelope with a return address of “THE WHITE HOUSE, WASHINGTON D.C.” Postage was pre-paid. Even though my grandmother’s contribution gratitude postcard was a mass-produced black and white mailer with an .eps signature layed over a pensive photo of the commander in chief, our letter was beyond legit, with a huge DO NOT BEND stamp on the packaging and a piece of cardboard to ensure frame-ability upon arrival. Notice how the authenticity-proving embossing of the president’s seal messed up the scan of the letter so that now you can’t tell—as I could when I was holding it—that Barack Obama’s signature bleeds through the silky-soft 24-lb. cotton bond paper, proving that a felt-tipped pen held by the president actually touched the paper. I bet Bush never would have personally signed such petty notices to institutions of the arts. Thank god we voted for change.