the day everything died

As everyone knew within an hour of it happening (thanks TMZ), Michael Jackson is dead. The next few weeks will expose the facets of his personal life that may or may not have lead to his cardiac arrest, but mostly people that were born after Thriller came out will weep openly at the UCLA Medical Center until he gets put underground somewhere and then they can all flock to his grave like a sobering Jim Morrison fan. But while everyone who was not convinced that Jackson’s weirdness overshadowed his pre-whiteification talent might be mourning the loss of a pop icon, I’m more worried about the simultaneous deaths of other entertainment icons. Sky Saxon, Ed McMahon, Steven Wells, Farah Fawcett and MJ all died within 48 hours of each other and I can’t help but think that this is going to be a Mother Theresa-Princess Diana simultaneous-death moment where Diana’s unlikely passing made an imprenetable news wall that no Carmelite nun’s lifelong advocacy of good could break through (which, I’m sure, is how that humble old broad wanted it anyway). But this time, it’s more upsetting because the losses from psychedelic music, late night television, punk-fucking journalism, babe-dom and pop supremacy are of great importance in their own right that’s it’s a shame to make the media choose between coverage (guess who they’re going to pick!). First Dom Delouise leaves a hole in my jewish-humor’d heart and now five more of the best are out of here. If Men In Black were true and an advanced alien race came down during the Bronze Age to inhabit humanoid bodies, then they must have decided we’re not worth it and are just heading home (which means we should probably get out of here, too).

Anyway, R.I.P to all the celebrities that have died since the beginning of June because, fuck, it’s a lot: David Carradine (Bill of Kill Bill), Bob Bogle (of The Ventures), Ed McMahon, Steven Wells, Farah Fawcett, Sky Saxon and MJ.

Patrick Swayze, put down those cigarettes, dumbass, or you’re next!

this revolution will be televised

Sitting in the quiet backyard of my grandma’s San Marino home, it’s hard to imagine the chaos pictured on the front page of her morning paper. A grainy still from a cell phone video lies above the fold, showing a woman bleeding to death in a Tehran street. She is already declared an icon of the protests, government force and civil unrest that has plagued Iran since its presidential elections on June 12th and the widespread Internet sharing of her civilian-filmed death video exemplifies a new era of communication for political activism.

After the declared “landslide victory” of incumbent president Mahmoud Ahmajinedad, supporters of reform candidate Mir-Hossein Mosavi called shenanigans on the government’s count and took to the streets to demand a recount, using text messaging and social networking websites to organize themselves and distribute information about their cause. This election created a very important moment in the globalization progress. With our past November’s election showcasing the Internet’s untapped political potential—and Obama’s win signifying the triumph over a corrupt administration through usage of a small percentage of that potential—minorites as far away as the turbulent middle east finally have a fighting chance.

And in a country like Iran, headed by an extremely confining government, Twitter, Facebook, cell phones and the Internet are the only arena where democracy is upheld. These open modes of communication give Iranians a forum to express their beliefs and be agreed with (for once), solidifying and empowering their opinions so that when the Ahmajinedad victory was announced, impromptu crowds of angry Mousavi supports organized themselves through the quinticentially 2009 rapid-fire information exchange.

Demanding a recount like untrusting Americans did in 2000, Iranians gathered in plazas, parks and streets in such numbers that the regime severed cell phone reception and restricted Internet access, a move that acknowledged its importance to the revolutionary cause. But determined citizens got around those road blocks and used the online tools to bring to life the massive, non-virtual movement present in Iran.

As compared with wars in the past, this is the first where information filtered through the Internet-accessible, not the news organizations that report it. And in the way that television coverage gave images of the destruction wrought during the Vietnam War, the overflowing usage of the Internet from within the political battle zone is ushering in a new era of information dissemination. But where Vietnam’s news reports were the product of several camera crews and former Internet communications were that of computer nerds, the rise of the social networking sites used in the recent Iranian protests gave everyone in the country a chance to share their perspective of the situation—and the rest of the world an opportunity to respond.

News of the election protests in Iran spread around the world nearly instantaneously, giving Americans access to this once-sheltered conflict and allowing more support to pour in. Since Obama’s winning experiment with Internet-use as a marketing campaign tool last year, the global village took notice. And with a maybe subconscious boost of morale after the win of a black president in a country formerly known for slavery, Iranians realized that victory over the status quo is possible and the Internet is the site for that revolution. Quickly turning the small politically-active community in Iran into part of the global community that is on these social networking sites, the possibly falsified reelection of Ahmadinejad called to action those against the Supreme Leader of Iran and his oppressive ways. Although the results will be upheld and Mousavi will go back to his humble artist life, Iran will not be the same and the impact of these protests will ring in all future elections.

lakers

Another year, another Lakers championship, another excuse for fairweather fans to dust off their car flags and oversized Kobe jerseys and get wasted after a fucking parade marches down Figuroa. At least Mayor Villaraigosa had the wherewithal to ask for private donations instead of dipping to his large cache of set-aside reelection funds and made a statement along the lines of: “L.A. deserves to revel in itself for a day” as if we don’t every day by going to Coffee Bean and hiking to the Hollywood sign. Los Angeles is the city that invented decandence (which we passed onto Vegas) and our movie industry, Rodeo Drive, obsession with plastic surgery and 80s Sunset Strip metal scene prove it. Why do we need a parade? Are we really rewarding all the asshole Lakers fans who burn cop cars and trash cans and looted local convenience stores while screaming “Lakers won! Everything is free!,” giving them an excuse to call out of work and march towards South Central like they own the place?? At least Dodgers fans are docile enough to end up at the Short Stop in Echo Park while my girlfriends and I drank whisky gingers and danced to James Brown last night while all the Kobe-philes were back at Barragans’ margarita night with their dress-jerseys embroidered (in purple) with the previous night’s winning score. God bless the Raiders for getting out of here. God knows what kind of civil unrest our complex city would have to deal with if we had a winning football team.

Let it also be said that organized sports are a distraction from what is really important. People are rioting in the streets of Tehran because of a botched election to overthrow a dictator and we would prefer to riot because our basketball team won. How much more backward can America get?

what the fuck: orange county

What the fuck Orange County? Cutting Planned Parenthood funding because you don’t like abortions??!?! You understand that they do other stuff besides surgical abortions, right? Stuff like PREVENTION and WOMEN’S HEALTH. You’re upset that so many unwanted babies are being killed, but are ensuring the rise of said unwanted babies my removing family planning and forcing low-income women to remain unhealthy and ignorant. The logic is tantamount to suspending a student for ditching school and I am outraged at the stupidity.

Planned Parenthood is the closest thing we have to some form of socialized medicine and it’s only right that it is demonized for both it’s teachings and its methods, but so far, it’s the only fucking system that has gotten it right. Yesterday, I went to take care of my annual womanly-needs test at the Planned Parenthood and decided to travel south to the less-crowded, less-awkward Costa Mesa location. After an hour-long wait with an eclectic group of patients (a bro, a girl with her mother and an old guy whose presence confused me) and sometime after they demanded a piss test but before they handed me a bag of condoms and birth control pills, I noticed a slip on the nurse’s desk that read “I support Planned Parenthood of Orange County!” with a space to sign if I beleive that breast health education is important enough to keep around (because the county supervisors do not).

Then, I remembered Lila Rose, the 20 year-old UCLA student with the perfect hair and a website centered around calling out institutions that don’t agree with her who decided to make herself a martyr for her anti-choice cause by recording visits to an Los Angeles PP pretending to be a pregnant 15 year-old with a 23 year-old boyfriend trying to get an abortion. Her YouTube footage filmed from her purse’s netherregions shows an admitted-wannabe actress coming across as a scared underage girl who knows that she is in a boatload of trouble if her dad finds out. She doesn’t fill out any paperwork, but asks how to fill it out and the woman tells her that depending on what she writes, charges may have to be filed against her boyfriend. She explains the Planned Parenthood policy of calling the police and reporting anything illegal that is reported to them, but NOTHING WAS REPORTED TO THEM. Lila Rose just stated her age during a quick talk with an employee, she didn’t provide it in a manner that requires PP action since she is NOT EVEN A FUCKING PLANNED PARENTHOOD PATIENT. Identity (including age) is never verified when you go to the clinic and whatever information is provided on the forms you fill out when you register is what they go by. But, even without Lila’s questioning of the non-profits “rules of reporting,” I would think that any 15 year-old that is smart enough to figure out how to get away with having sex under their parents nose would be smart enough to lie about their age (or the boyfriend’s) to avoid pressing charges.

But unfortunately, the people that agree with her improper findings of “investigative journalism” are turning it into a new voice for the anti-choice movement (even though age-of-consent has nothing to do with what you see as killing a human life) and are using her “evidence” to enduce sweeping setbacks for Planned Parenthood’s crucial services. Back in March, the Orange County Board of Supervisors denied $300,000 in sexual education funding because the company performed surgical abortions. This logic has so many errors that I cannot begin to elaborate on the idiocy behind it. If you’re anti-abortion, cut abortion services, not methods that prevent the need for abortions in the first place. Duh.

Anyway, I signed the slip at the Planned Parenthood because general women’s health is more important to me than fear of socialized healthcare, and I got sent on my way with a year’s supply of birth control pills, stoked for the opportunity to protect myself from a child I am not ready for, but more importantly, exercsing my right to choose what happens to my body before a created life comes into play. Orange County is making things worse for themselves for trying to take that away because instead of saving themselves $300,000 right now, they are going to need double that to ensure county-funded care for the unwanted children produced from their decision. This isn’t a religious debate anymore, Supes, it’s a social one, so drop your moral beliefs and start doing what’s right for your constituents.

new n00z

So this is way super belated since I just received my issue with crying Oprah on the cover (what are we up to now, three?), but I fucking love the new Newsweek layouts. I’ve been subscribing to to the slightly-liberal news weekly for nearly a year because a) it makes me look smarter and b) I hate my ex- stepmom—but more on that later—and finally they noticed that the stuffy old newsprint-looking layouts and blah blah blah “My Turn” columns about house foreclosures and adopted Chinese daughters mourning dog death (I think I was the only one who found it ore ironic than touching) needed a major revamp-ment (at the end there, I was barely smiling at the Dignity Index).

Announcing their plans for a redesign back in February, Newsweek cited the magazine’s decline from a mass audience to a niche on, but instead of folding like so many struggling schmucks, they decided to go with it. And by catering to the specific demographic of leftover newsweek readers—educated 30-40 somethings obsessed with being politically aware and modern chic—they’re keeping the subscribers they want. My ex-stepmom, of course, told my dad she hates it and has now cancelled her subscription (so basically, I win). Anyway, I’m proud of Newsweek for keeping their head above water and bringing their logo font to the inside (pretty ballsy to use the light version for basic copy–Georgia is that youuu?!) and focusing on great photography to introduce readers to the story. The magazine is now separated into four distinct sections (which is helpful when I skip over the pointless opinions of their columnists—ugh enough with the Fareed!) which have thought-provoking stories andcleaner layouts (fear not the white space!). Thank you Newsweek for going easy on the eyes. ILY.

introduction to pointless opinions (but damn it looks clean!)

clever way to present information in the culture section

they even interviewed nico muhly and wayne coyne!!!!